Tuesday, June 21, 2016

The Sacred Ivory Portal to Soporific Bliss





The Sacred Ivory Portal to Soporific Bliss

Send $34.99 to:
PO Box 1159
Taos, NM
87571


Originally discovered by the Ahutalatay People of the Middle Kingdom in 300 BC, the Sacred Ivory Portal to Soporific Bliss embraces the ancient secret to rejuvenation and perfect repose.

Every living person over the age of 50 has expressed their powerlessness to achieve a deep, beneficial night of transformational sleep. Fret no more, faithful insomniacs. The Sacred Ivory Portal to Soporific Bliss guarantees a full, peaceful eight hours of slumber to each and every devotee.

For an additional $34.99 you will receive the Blessed Top Secret Mantra that guarantees immediate activation of The Sacred Ivory Portal to Soporific Bliss. Achieve unconsciousness by next week. What have you to lose except your lassitude?

Sorry, no refunds. Namaste.

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