Saturday, August 15, 2015

Life Coaching - Part 3

In my career as one of America’s most influential and respected Life Coaches I get messages every day from clients and friends, seekers and strivers, urging:

Live for today, forget about the past
Be here now, live life in the moment
You only live once
Today is the first day of the rest of your life
Live today as if you’ll die tomorrow
Life is precious and each moment is a blessing

I take offense because these “writers” know perfectly well where I am when I read this sage advice, this helpful encouragement to live fully, create, do things and go into the world and experience nature and love everyone so that I have no regrets. They know goddamn well that I’m seeing it on the frigging Internet, sitting in front of my computer where I spend hours every day. They are trying to make me feel guilty. Bastards.

Here are some of my own AFFIRMATIONS for a happy life:

Cancel your next appointment and stay home
Read a book and don’t answer the phone
Check out the news, read the comments
Watch a little pornography
Have a sandwich, take a nap
You only have one life to waste; waste it well
Guilt is for suckers

You are welcome.
J. De Patta, SCLC (Self Certified Life Coach)


  1. Vag as I age I need a sage and you are it. Keep on helping those who will not believe come to the truth. By the way I need 5 mill for a business idea.

  2. Mr. Rice, I appreciate your support and intelligent comments. Do not worry about that car that's been parked in front of your home for the last three nights.