The Vagrant Cantos: It's Moab, Guys

We were in Moab for a couple days. Just wanted to get away and Moab is only 7 hours easy drive. I’ve been through there once before and thought it looked pretty cool, a place for more exploring.

It’s the most incredible, otherworldly landscape I’ve ever seen. Arches National Park Canyonlands, etc. The places where Edward Abbey wrote his masterpiece, Desert Solitaire. Really hot in June: 101, 102, 103, but dry as a bone and tolerable. If you want to lose a lot of weight, walk around, hike, meander over the next hill, trudge up the long trails to the delicate arches and overlooks and do not, never ever, drink water. It’s exhilarating and if you can stay upright, you can lose some lbs.

We’d go out every day around 8 a.m., back at one or two. Moab is really expensive, too expensive for what the town has to offer. Thirty/forty dollar dinners for two without booze are the norm. Edward Abbey, the angry old genius and drunk, would murder most of the people here. The city is full of fratboys and girls who are into mountain biking, zip lining, rock climbing, river rafting, hiking, off-roading, driving fast and digging the handmade artisan beers. It’s a contest between the really active youngsters and doddering old farts in their stupid hats. It’s a tie.

Waiters/waitresses/waitpersons greet you with a big ole cheery, "Hey how you guys doing? What can I get you guys?" "How's everything, guys?" “Is everything OK, guys?” Shit for brains. I guess if I was big into the outdoor extreme sports, endurance, 40 years younger, it would be cool but nowadays, mostly, I want to be left alone to wander. It is very hard to be left alone here and it appears that everything is controlled, authorized, designated.

Stay on the trails

Don't park here

Pick up

Stay out

Slow down

Buckle up.

Fucking nannies. We ate in a “Brew Pub”, a huge mistake because unless you are into noisy TV sports and crowds of children and fried cheesy crunchy foods, you should never go into one of those dumps. I had to tune up one of the bouncy waiter dudes who totally fucked up a two-hamburger order and took 45 minutes to do it. He said he was sorry.

The overfed Mormon failed waiter said he was Really Sorry, guys, after his lame explanation about the lateness of our order: busy, shorthanded, backed up.

“So, is that OK, guys?”

“No.”

“Well, I said I was sorry.”

“Un hunh, but I still don’t have my hamburger. Apologies don’t put food on the table. GUY."

It continued. He reduced our tab by 50%, but that wasn't enough.
I can't wait until I start drinking again.

Even with the lame human behavior, Moab is a terrific place if you spend your time outdoors having your mind blown by planet earth; wild landscape, colors, rocks, cliffs and anomalies are everywhere. I came away with a much better knowledge of geology. I now know the difference between Permian and Jurassic, which was always a puzzle. I lament that I didn’t study enough earth science in school. Also, there is a serious Paleontology culture in the region and they are still finding important fossils and dinosaur tracks and new species and the scientists and rangers are friendly and helpful. So, yeah, have fun, wander around, check it out and leave the water in the car.