Thursday, May 14, 2015

Profiles in Confusion







My two favorite kinds of Facebook people are, first, the ones who change their profile pictures every two days. No, you haven’t transformed and you don’t look different and you are blocking the normal flow of narcissism with your needy bullshit. I get the feeling they are seeking out someone to say how handsome or gorgeous they are but what they generally get are reactions like:
“Wonderful. Where was that taken?”
“You are so funny. Call me.”
“Beautiful jacket. Is it new?”
“How’s your mom?”

The others are the youngsters who pose sexy duckfaced, with lots of studs and dangerous jewelry and thick makeup, brandishing guns, overly-obvious neck tats, badass expressions, threats and racism and obscenity and hatred on all of their posts and when I scroll down to learn more about them (as if) I see  their favorite movie is The Little Mermaid and their favorite books are Dr. Seuss and The Holy Bible. Don’t you just want to take them aside and explain shit? Me neither.

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