My two favorite kinds of Facebook people are, first, the
ones who change their profile pictures every two days. No, you haven’t
transformed and you don’t look different and you are blocking the normal flow
of narcissism with your needy bullshit. I get the feeling they are seeking out
someone to say how handsome or gorgeous they are but what they generally get
are reactions like:
“Wonderful. Where was that taken?”
“You are so funny. Call me.”
“Beautiful jacket. Is it new?”
“How’s your mom?”
The others are the youngsters who pose sexy duckfaced,
with lots of studs and dangerous jewelry and thick makeup, brandishing guns, overly-obvious
neck tats, badass expressions, threats and racism and obscenity and hatred on
all of their posts and when I scroll down to learn more about them (as if) I
see their favorite movie is The Little Mermaid and their favorite books
are Dr. Seuss and The Holy Bible. Don’t you just want to take them aside and
explain shit? Me neither.
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