Saturday, July 27, 2013

Just Sayin

Hey, you look like crap this morning. Just Sayin.
Facebook is fascinating. I have over three hundred friends on Facebook. I know, I know, you have 1115, and you have 3000 and you have 750 and you feel fucking great about yourselves. I’m happy for you. I have over three hundred friends, I don’t even know most of them, wouldn’t recognize a lot of them if I sat next to them in a bar and don’t even like them. How do I know I don’t like them? By their posts. Sure, it’s an easy way to assess whether you’ve made a mistake in choosing these social network parasites as your friends. And the tipoff? What really convinces me that I’ve “friended” the wrong people.
 They use the phrase, “Just Sayin” when they write something.
The fuck does it mean? Why use it? Don’t you have the courage of your convictions? Afraid you might lose “friends”?
Hey, you sure look fat in your picture, just sayin.
Sorry you have aids, but you should have worn a rubber, just sayin
Man, your mother is really ugly, and so is your daughter, just sayin.

Just Sayin is Facebookspeak for:
I’m not really sure what I’m talking about, I don’t want to be pinned down, I have no real opinions, you’ve heard this before, I’m tricking you into thinking I give a shit, you’ll never know my true feelings, I can be a total asshole and still distance myself from whatever I write, I’m so evolved that I toss out unclear, judgmental or abstract statements and move on to the next incoherent, illiterate post, I’ve never had an original idea, I have trouble thinking, I’m insecure, cowardly, over weight, laid back, blasé, please don’t take me seriously, I’m a fraud, a fake, a fuckup, too scared or ignorant to back up my viewpoint, I’m codependent, needy, self-loathing with good reason, probably drunk, no one pays attention to me, I have never been laid, was a crappy student, I irritate everyone and I’m despised by most of my friends and I wear sunglasses in my profile picture. LOL. Just Sayin.

1 comment:

  1. Well it has come to this. An elderly man with access to the internet, a keen knowledge of the English language, excellent computer skills, street cred, ethnicity that has always lead the way in literature and theater, and the passion of a Mountain Gorilla, and the humor of Lennie Bruce, Richard Pryor, and Pinkie Lee has come out with his true feelings. Bravo, Bravo
    I am sure glad you were confined to your room when you did this. Thank you Sally
    God I miss our morning coffee after a meeting.