Refusing the Nobel Prize

Jesus Christ, the Nobel Committee, due to the “lagging economy”, has reduced its financial awards by 20 percent. I know that this is even less than a 1% issue, but the award will now only be $1.1 million. The reasons are the same crap we hear every day. “Investments failed to keep pace with spending”. The committee promises, no shit, to re-examine administrative costs and reminded us that “overhead expenses” were rising.

I give up. I’m going to suspend my efforts to cure cancer, end third world hunger and to create a new literary form that will make all others obsolete.

These guys are in charge of deciding who are the most qualified people on earth, who have done the most for the whole goddamn world in terms of Peace, Physics, Chemistry, Literature, Medicine and, yessir, Economy. The dolts have missed James Joyce, Tolstoy, Proust, Anton Chekhov, Mark Twain, and more recently, Philip Roth. And that’s just Literature. Mahatma Gandhi was overlooked, but Henry Kissinger bellied up for his honors.  Recipient Barack Obama said he didn’t deserve it and Sartre refused.

The Nobelturds haven’t figured out that nothing is the same as it used to be, prior to the international breakdown of banking and trust in government. We (citizens, soldiers, workers, families, believers, patriots and rebels), have taken a trimming. Entire mega-funds vaporized and salaries and pensions are stagnant. Labor unions are under attack. New reports show that even young, qualified workers are not even looking for promotions and advancement because they are so frigging delighted just to have a job. They’re keeping their heads down and trying to get to the next paycheck and binge-drinking on weekends. Medical expenses, travel costs, gasoline, food and clothing prices are still rising.

We have a local music program where I live in Northern New Mexico called “Music from Angel Fire.” It’s a respected organization of fairly good musicians offering up well thought-out programs of classical music. I used to go to their performances. During the past several years their ticket prices have jumped to $30. The performances may be worth $20, but thirty bucks is too damn much for an hour and a half of journeyman music. I wrote to them and asked why they had raised their prices during a time of economic crisis. Were they just another example of the American standard of Art for Rich People? Of course I got the usual stern response to my email which, in effect, said that I “didn’t understand” how expensive it was to put on quality performances and that costs had increased. Sure. Fine.

I get it. I probably don’t understand. Until I do, I won’t be going to any of their concerts, either. Expenses. Administrative costs and overhead and return on investments.

But, whenever I hear “administrative costs” I still think Cocaine and Blowjobs. Sorry, I’m a victim of the 70’s and 80’s. When I hear that investments haven’t kept up with the economy, I assume there is skimming, laundering and theft. I don’t understand, it’s all way too complicated for a simple man like me, but I read the paper. I get to draw my own conclusions.

Fuck the Nobel Prize Committee and their Scandinavian excuses. Cut back on the Lutfisk and save a few Kronor like the rest of us. Gandhi was effective even without them and their silly medal, and somewhere there are people studying string theory and AIDS and peace. Give the discounted trinket to Donald Trump or Madonna. Leave me out of it.