Another school shooting. Second or third this week. Lost
count. We care. People like us, the victims, the targets, the irrelevant; we
care. Shoppers, students, working people, families. We care because we may be
next. We’re the people who get shot. It’s a terrible thing, right?
But no one else actually gives a shit, not the lawmakers,
congress, senators, the Supreme Court, gun owners (lots and lots), cops. No one
who can actually do anything about crazy assholes with firearms cares about gun
deaths until they get maimed, their kids get killed, or their favorite lobbyist
is shot and shuts off the cashflow. Nope. Every time one of these public
massacres happens we still have to listen to the same old dumbassed
give-and-take dialogue about gun control.
Take them away from everyone
Register the shit out of them, like cars
Screen all potential owners for mental issues
Arm everyone
Self defense
Criminals
Bad guys with guns, good guys with guns
NRA evil
Cecil the lion.
On the pro-gun side, the argument usually boils down to that
old chestnut:
“Guns don’t kill people, people kill people.”
Right? That is so specious and small-minded. Screwballs shout
that line, “Guns don’t kill, people do,” whenever they get a chance, and now
it’s become a kind of right wing dickless stupid-guy joke. If a kid dies in a
car wreck, you can bet your ass that a boring, dropout, stay-at-home
porn-addict will comment, “Well perhaps we should outlaw all cars because
someone died in one. Huh? Huh?”
Fuck you.
The whole, “Guns don’t kill people because they are
inanimate objects like a hammer and need a person to operate them,” is so
thoughtless and old and worn out that anyone who uses that argument should
automatically be prohibited from owning anything more dangerous than a donut
because they are way too stupid to own a weapon.
I have an idea.
Since we’re on the way to decriminalizing/legalizing weed
(really, trust me, it’s coming soon everywhere) I expect there will be a lot
more empty prison cells. Once we stop arresting and prosecuting citizens for
non-violent drug possession we can free up entire cellblocks.
But wait, won’t this be a threat to America’s giant prison
industry? Staff will be redundant and laid off, budgets reduced, and then what?
Should out of work prison employees, many who are armed, just lay back in their
recliners and smoke weed? How do we keep them employed and productive?
We retrain the DEA and all law enforcement agencies,
prosecutors, and prison personnel to shift their failed “War on Drugs” programs
to a brand new, helpful, functional “War on Guns”.
We’ll never get rid of all guns, too much money and
whored-out congressmen for that, but if an individual is apprehended with an
illegal firearm, if he or she has a gun that is not properly registered, if
they use a gun in the commission of a crime, if they threaten with, brag about, brandish or
wave a gun, if they have a firearm in a place where it can be found by a kid,
if a gun owner is drunk, high, has a domestic abuse record or has been in
trouble for road rage or has used a cell phone in a movie theater, then we
arrest them and put them in jail with the same sentence that would have been
given to a marijuana user fifty years ago. Life in prison in some Texas
jurisdictions. And god help any fool who is caught with a stolen weapon. Sounds fair. A lot of slammers could be re-stocked with dorks
who have stepped over the line and misplaced or misused their precious and the
incarceration business could retain its employees, offering benefits
and uniforms and security and Christmas parties and company picnics and finally
doing something to promote safety in the community while prison workers will
still be able support their families, buy big trucks and eat at Taco Bell.
I know, I know, the NRA and the Washington money will never
allow it. It’s a dream; but if they oppose this idea, an idea that could get
stupid-assed gun owners off the streets, if the NRA or their Congressional puppies
protest with typical shit-for-brains arguments, we shoot them in the face.
